The Sauced Chef

Fat Head’s South Side Saloon, Pittsburgh, PA

Pittsburgh, PA

www.fatheads.com

The legendary Fatheads is located on Pittsburgh’s vibrant south side, in the midst of many cool places to get your sauce on.  Conveniently, there is paid parking across the street.  Recognize this place by the big bloated mustached head with sunglasses

 Get Sauced: 4 out of 4

One needs to go no farther than here to go on a bender.  They have everything a booze lover could dream of.  It was like Fathead Wonka just opened up a oak barrelled door to his fantasy factory and blinded me with the IPA, Beligian Dubbel, Bock, Maibock, Pilsner and Wheat beer waterfalls, the whiskey rain, the scotch pond and the floofy area known as the wine flower garden.  Hopefully this dream world has a bathroom.  Seriously, one of the most impressive beer lists I’ve ever seen. Rogue actually brews an exclusive brand for Fathead only.  I guzzled the house-brewed Hunter’s Head IPA, which was hoppy with a good malt backbone and a diversity of flavor notes. I downed the house-brewed Heller Bock and immediately ordered a second.  This was my favorite. The Heller Bock tasted very similar to a dark wheat beer, but it had a lighter bread taste and a higher hop top note.  Utterly delicious.  I also tried their hand-pulled tap which was Bear Republic Red Rocket Ale from Cali, which I’ve had before, fantastic! Fatheads has a diversity of whiskeys and scotches and offers whiskey flights.  The wine list is as expected for a brewery.  If you go to Fatheads for the first time and order wine, I will personally come to your house and hide some stinky cheese under your pillow!

The Sauce: 4 out of 4

The menu is MASSIVE.  Normally, I would be turned off by such a large beast.  But, much like reading an exciting, adrenaline-pumping novel, I couldn’t put this bastard down (speaking of bastards, they actually have Arrogant Bastard battered onion rings!).  Take as much time as you need to figure out what you want.  The servers understand this, don’t worry. We started with the wings.  Fatheads offers 14 different wing variations from traditional favorites like honey-bbq and mild buffalo to creative new flavors like salt-n-vinegar and spicy parmesan.  My favorite was the spicy parmesan, a nutty and sweet topnote with a real tomatoey kick to finish it off.  My least favorite was the salt-n-vinegar, creative but tastes just like one would expect.  Now to the main course, the Headwiches! A Headwich is a gigantor sandwich inspired by a moment of genius of some member of the Fathead staff.  18 of these mouth-watering bad boys stared at me and it was damn hard to make a decision.  I pondered the Maxim award winning South Slope Headwich , made with pierogies, kielbasa and grilled onions.  I contemplated the Beer Camp Headwich, packed full of bacon, bbq sauce, sharp cheddar and house-made 1000 island dressing.  I salivated over the Artery Clogger Headwich, full of greasy goodness (bacon, fried eggs, mayo).  I ended up choosing the PCI Headwich, an italian style club with ham, salami, capicola, banana peppers and rosemary mayo.  This thing was spot on! The amounts of meat to veg ratio was perfect and the rosemary mayo provided a unique floral aftertaste.  I tried like mad to finish this tough puppy but (much to my chagrin) needed a woof-woof bag. I also sampled their cherry-pepper mayo and enjoyed the deep astringency of it with their crispy fries.

The Reduction: + 1  Ambiance  for  9  out of 10

Customer service was as expected.  The waitress knew the menu and did a great job giving me recommendations.  She was a bit slow on the beer refill take though, not penalty slow, just a tad bit molassely. The ambiance is unique in its simplicity, having a sports bar type feel inside a simple brick building.  I love all the hand-painted craft beer logos, word on the street says that the brewer himself does all of them.  There also is a aura of fun and awe (of what we are collectively experiencing)  by the customers, we immediately struck up a conversation with some British businessmen sitting next to us, just over the beer list.  The Sauced Chef will not rest until he’s tried every single headwich and makes it to the Fathead Elite.  You have to experience this place at least once in your life!

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Coffee and Chai Venison Chops with Mincemeat Sauce

large saute pan

spatula and tongs

1/2 sheet pan

parchment paper (not 100% necessary)

various mise en place bowls

6-8 trimmed venison chops

1 cup honey powder

1/2 cup favorite ground coffee

1/4 cup chai tea leaves

2 tbsp all purpose flour

1 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

1 tbsp ground cloves

2 cups chicken stock

1 1/2 cup of Sauce Lab #6: Meatless Mincemeat Sauce

1 tbsp unsalted butter

1 tsp peanut oil

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Combine coffee (set aside 1 tbsp for glaze) chai, salt, pepper, all purpose flour and ground cloves to make a flour rub or dredge for the chops.
3. Dredge chops in flour rub (make sure they are pretty dry first) and set aside.  Make sure every part of the chop is covered.
4. Add peanut oil and butter to hot sautee pan and sear the outside of the chops until a nice crust develops** (about 1-2 minutes on each side).  Set chops aside on sheet pan with parchment paper.  (If you don’t have parchment, just make sure the pan is greased)
5. Mix remaining coffee grounds and honey powder
6. Cover the tops of each chop with coffee and honey mixture
7. Cook in oven for about 5-7 minutes, or until internal temperature reaches 143 degrees.  Make sure that the coffee and honey glaze thoroughly melts before taking it out
8. In the same pan used to saute the venison add the mincemeat sauce and chicken stock.  Reduce until desired consistency is reached. Finish with salt and pepper.  Finish again with any remaining coffee, chai or cloves to taste.
9. Serve it baby!

** Remember we are using coffee ground here people! Don’t think that your chop is burnt because it smells bitter and looks black.  You have to pay attention and feel the outside of the chop to make sure the crust develops.

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The Detroit Beer Company

Detroit, MI

www.detroitbeerco.com

Whether having some grub before watching the Lions lose or guzzling down a beer before a ballet, the DBC is the perfect place to start your Detroit adventure. The DBC has a great location with ample (and relatively cheap) parking less than one block away. 

 Get Sauced: 4 out of 4

The DBC offers a wide variety of creative, tasty and uniquely different taps brewed in house.  They boast 3 beers that have won awards at the Great American Beer Festival.  Their brewer (Kevin Rodger) also experiments with “seasonal taps” ensuring frequent guests or “mug clubbers” will have a beer variety every time they walk-in (even Norm would be proud!). They have an impressive wine list for those weirdos who would go to a brewery and actually order wine, alongside a creative martini list boasting top shelf products. My favorite beer is also their most decorated beer, The Detroit Dwarf.  Getting its name from a spooky Detroit legend, the Dwarf offers a distinct balance between hops and malt, with a rich texture and earthy aftertaste. 

The Sauce: 2 out of 4

In the spirit of the great American spaghetti Western, this portion of the review is a case of the good, the bad and THE UGLY!

The Good; the BBQ sauce! More tang than sweet, with a great vinegar bite and a peppery, spicy finish.  I could drink a bucket of this stuff.

The Bad; not enough BBQ sauce! I sampled two dishes, one of them was the meatloaf sandwich with the amazing sauce.  The problem was that I would have never found out how good the sauce was if I hadn’t specifically ordered a side of it.  The sauce was so engulfed by the onions, meat and bread, it barely contributed to the flavor of the sandwich   I’m not sure if this is a case of the chef trying to save $$$ or just a poorly portioned plate, but the sauce was almost non-existent.  If it were me serving this dish, I would include a side of BBQ sauce as standard on the plate. It’s SO GOOD!

The UGLY; the Farfalle Caprese! Do not order this dish!I was expecting a hot take on one of my favorite cold summertime snacks, the Caprese salad. Instead, I received warm pasta soup with mushy tomatoes and random half-melted parmesan blobs! A cold Caprese salad consists of fresh basil, crisp tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, balsamic vinaigrette, olive oil, salt and pepper.  This warm pasta version didn’t come anywhere close to the mark.  This dish was wrong on so many levels! Firstly, why put parmesan cheese in this? It vastly overpowered the wee bit of basil in the dish and eliminated any flavor subtlety. Secondly, why not dice the tomatoes to hide their mushiness? The cherry tomatoes were just cut in half.  Warm and mushy tomatoes cut in half don’t offer flavor to the sauce and provide an unappetizing mouthfeel. Finally, the SAUCE! It literally looked liked some weird version of chicken noodle soup! It was that watery! Why not blend in some light cream with the mozzarella and thicken it? If it was high noon, I’d shoot this pasta right in its mushy balls!

The Reduction: +/- Customer Service and + 1/2 Ambiance  for  6 1/2 out of 10

The customer service was not great but it wasn’t terrible either.  I asked the server if the pasta was normally this watery (in a nice way, of course!) and she adamantly told me “yes”. I wondered if she would get the hint from my couched inference.  She didn’t.

The ambiance is aesthetically cool! Two stories with a decent view of downtown Detroit.  The really annoying thing that I couldn’t get over is that one of the seemingly new flat-screen TV’s (there are many, btw) was broken.  The feed for the football game keep on choppily jumping around, along with the sound.  This TV just so happened to be right smack-dab in my line of vision.  It was like a train-wreck, I couldn’t look away.

Overall, I think it was a case of bad luck.  Watching the other dishes come out, they looked much better than the pasta dish.  I think I may have ordered the worst thing on the menu.  The TV thing was annoying, but I’m sure that will be fixed or is already fixed.  I’d go there again just for the wonderful beer!

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Pangea Pizza

Traverse City, MI

www.pangeaspizza.com

Pangea is located in the heart of downtown Traverse City and features pies from around the world.  Pangea also has a large outdoor patio area that is perfect for lounging and drinking in the summer

Get Sauced: 4 out of 4

Pangea has a HUGE beer list.  They offer flights of beers and have bottled beers categorized by country of origin. They also feature local microbreweries on their taps.  Michigan is recognized to be one of the top 5 microbrewed beer producers in the nation, its nice to get that taste right from Pangea’s drafts.  They boast a decent wine list for a pizza place and feature some tasty marguuerita and daquiri drink specials

The Sauce: 2 out of 4

We ordered an Italian, Mexican, Rajasthan (Indian)and Carribean Jerk pizza.  I was most impressed with their basic Italian pizza sauce and the Indian pizza sauce.  Their basic Italian sauce was thick, with a good balance of sweet and tangy.  It also had a fresh basil finish.  The Indian sauce was very unique, with hints of cumin, turmeric, coriander, curry and garlic that  complimented the house made Saag Paneer cheese.  However, I was extremely disappointed in the Jerk and Mexican pizza sauces.  The Mexican pizza sauce was very bland with no kick.  Yes, the pizza had chorizo sausage (just ok) which added some boost to the sauce, but not enough.  I expect to taste chili and cumin with real tang and maybe some minced jalapeno, nothing like that happened.  The Jerk pizza sauce was rough.  No allspice, no thyme,  nothing to represent the sweetness of jerk, not to mention ZERO spice.  Even the chicken on the pizza (supposedly jerk rubbed) was barely seasoned.  It tasted more like a Hawai’in Pizza with chicken instead of ham than an actual representation of real Caribbean jerk flavoring. Whoever made that pizza was the only REAL JERK!

The Reduction: +1 Ambiance for 7 out of 10

Our server was pretty good, she did bring us the wrong beers initially but apologized and corrected her mistake with decent quickness. The outdoor patio is large and has a tiki-bar feel, complete with tropical drink specials.  During the evening it is simply lit with Christmas tree lights.  There does exist a  laid back, let’s eat, drink (and drink some more) and be merry vibe that is really unique, though! Keep the beer list on point, but spice up the SAUCE!

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Compari’s

Plymouth, MI

www.comparisdining.com

Downtown Plymouth is a hidden gem with some great places to eat and drink.  They also do a great job of holding fairs, festivals and interesting events to bring the people in. Compari’s is right in the heart of where you want to be.

 Get Sauced:  2 1/2 out of 4

For a moderately priced Italian Bistro, the wine list was as expected; a spackling of Cab Sav’s, Merlots, Pinot and one Zinfandel.  They only had 4 beers on tap and two of them were Bud and Miller! The only saving grace was the large bottled beer list which was somewhat diverse. 

The Sauce: 2 1/2 out of 4

My first disappointment took place when I ordered a beautifully prepared house salad only to realize that they were using bottled bleu cheese dressing.  There is nothing worse than tasting that faux bleu cheese processed flavor on a salad. Nothing! Here’s the kicker, they had fricking bleu cheese crumbles readily available! Why wouldn’t you make your own dressing! To me, that’s just laziness based on the hope of customer ignorance! However, the redeeming bite was on the asparagus/mascarpone stuffed ravioli with a wild mushroom cream sauce that I ordered.  The light sweetness of the mascarpone paired wonderfully with the earthiness of the cremini/shittake mushroom sauce.  The sauce had hints of garlic and pepper and relaxed my previously annoyed taste buds with a robust nutmeg finish.  Unfortunately, my meal was the best of the table and its not a regular menu item.  If you go there, do not order the whitefish! I tried my sister’s and instantly regretted the mushy, unseasoned, overcooked cardboard that hit my saucy lips!

The Reduction: -1 Customer Service  for  4 out of 10

The server was unenthusiastic and boring.  He did a sub-par and inaccurate  job describing the menu.  I witnessed my sister ask for water multiple times with multiple people before she was refilled.  They had an oil and vinegar bottle on the table next to a fresh parm shaker which (I assume) was to make a dipping sauce for the fresh bread.  I was the one that had to make the sauce for the table and it wasn’t even suggested to us by the server.  The ambiance was as expected, nothing amazing, nothing really shitty either.  The bathrooms were clean and elegant. The tables a bit too small, but nothing that one wouldn’t expect from a bistro-type setting.  Overall, next time I am in Plymouth I won’t be visiting Compari’s.

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Coach Insignia

Detroit, MI

http://www.mattprenticerg.com/urc/coach.asp

An homage to the history and culture of the Motor City. Coach is the 2nd highest restaurant in the world, it is located on the very top of Detroit’s Renaissance Center.  It actually used to slowly rotate but the previous owners didn’t oil the gears as specified and the once mobile is now stagnant.  The only solution is for owner Matt Prentice to pump millions of gear greasing cash into the futuristic, spherical structure to get it moving again.

 Get Sauced:  2 1/2 out of 4

Coach has an extensive wine list and a knowledgeable and friendly sommelier (Patrick) who recommended and decanted two flavorful bottles of wine for the table. The cocktail list was as expected for a fine dining establishment with some interesting fresh variations like the blueberry/raspberry mojito and pomegranate champagne. Both were boozey, poppy and refreshing.  I ordered the Sauced Chef staple tester; an extra-dirty Kettle One martini with bleu cheese stuffed olives.  Mixed very well, but was clear in the glass which means not enough OJ (olive juice), which is imperative for an “extra-dirty” styled martini.  Really disappointed in the beer list.  Beer is gourmet, people! Not one single Michigan micro-brew on draft and a meager bottled selection once again leaves the beer drinker wonting. 

The Sauce: 3 out of 4

The red wine and shallot reduction for my sous vide chicken was memorable.  A tart topnote, followed by savory and finished with garlic shallot hints. The amount  was perfect, sauce was strained and added a radiant color to the plate.  It could have been a tad bit thicker but was done very well.   The choclate sauce for the hazelnut torte was rich and thick but that was it.  I was hoping to experience a unique take by the pastry chef, perhaps some unique spice (cardamon?) or herb (lemon mint?) but was sorely disappointed.  In taking it for what it was, it was good, but not what I wanted it to be.  Follow me, people?

The Reduction: -1 Customer Service and  +1 Ambiance for  5 1/2 out of 10

The most appalling thing for this very expensive place was the initial lack of service.  We waited unattended for about 10 minutes, even though we were on time for our reservation.  Upon being seated late, the hostess did not offer any apologies for the delay.  After being seated, we were not greeted for another 10 minutes, when our table was acknowledged it was by the sommelier, not the server! For a $100 per person experience, this saucy chef expects be pampered! Admittedly, once we were greeted the service was maintained at a very high level throughout the meal.  The most memorable thing about Coach Insignia was the breathtaking view of downtown Detroit and Windsor.  The decor, lobby furniture (over-sized stuffed red chairs so I could be the Sauced King), unique circular structure and sheer height the place  humbled our group.  The ingenuity, creativity and vision of Coach Insignia is impressive.

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Pearl’s New Orleans Kitchen

Elk Rapids, MI

www.magnumhospitality.com/pearls.asp

Pearl’s is located about a half-hour northeast of Traverse City, MI.  You take a verdant and tranquil  drive up M-31 and head downtown.  Pearl’s head chef actually travelled to New Orleans to study the cuisine, this is the real deal – authentic Cajun and Creole style food. This place is always packed, so make sure you allot a good two hours for dinner. 

 Get Sauced: 4 out of 4

Pearl’s has a decent beer and wine list.  You can tell that they really, really focused on their cocktails and bourbons! My goal is to make it through their speciality cocktail list sometime in the next two years! The mixologist provides customers with diverse offerings; from 23 oz Hurricanes, Mint Juleps, Margaritas to Oyster Shooters and their version of Moonshine.  I have to pay homage to the Big Easy Mary, one of my all-time favorite Bloody Marys.  It’s tangy and spicy and is served with an enormous blue-cheese stuffed jalapeno, a crayfish and pickled carrot sticks.  Also, Pearl’s offers bourbon flights! They know their bourbon, folks! The single-malt flight was smooth, oaky with hints of vanilla and smoke.  Fantastic!

The Sauce: 4 out of 4

I ordered the Etouffee, the sauce was thick, creamy and spicy! Hints of cayenne, garlic and jalapeno provided the slow burn that I cherish.  Pearl’s also has the largest selection of hot sauces that I have ever seen.  They line the walls, challenging patrons to try them all.  Their sweet potato fries come with two decadent dipping sauces that compliment the flaky and sweet starch very well.  Then comes the cinnamon ice cream served with the buttermilk pie.  Cinnamon ice cream (when it’s done right) is my favorite.  This one is done damn good; creamy, subtley sweet and cinnamon focused!

The Reduction: +1 Customer Service for 9 out of 10

Our server was knowledgeable and pleasant.  She also perceived that my in-laws are not spicy people and constantly re-filled their waters.  Perfect!  The ambiance is cool, but may be just a little too cluttered.  A funhouse-like mish-mash of Cajun lore, seems a bit busy.  The booth we sat in was a wee bit compact and not very comfortable, we didn’t seem to have room on the table for everything we ordered (a reasonable amount for 4 people).  Overall, this is one of my favorite places to dine in northern Michigan, a diamond in the rough, which always, always delivers on authenic Cajun cuisine, creative and boozey drinks and great service. 

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Sauce Lab #4: Roasted Tomato Jus and more

1 sheet pan covered in aluminium foil

2 large bowls

1 fork

12 large tomatoes (halved and cored)

 1/4 extra virgin olive oil

6 rosemary sprigs

10 garlic cloves

S/P TT

1. Preheat oven to 225 degrees
2. After halving (use a serrated knife for this) and coring (use a small little dinky knife) the tomatoes add them to a bowl and toss with olive oil and a couple pinches salt and pepper
3. Once coated place tomato halves on sheet pan
4. Liberally distribute the rosemary sprigs and garlic around the tomatoes
5. Place in oven, roast for about 20 minutes
6. Pull out sheet pan and use fork to remove skin from all tomatoes (this is a pain in the ass, but totally worth it)
7. Drain juice or Sauce Lab #4 Roasted Tomato Jus from sheet pan into large bowl
8. Continue to roast and drain for about another hour or until the tomatoes have barely any moisture left
9. Store and/or freeze roasted tomatoes and use for anything (sauces, stuffing, pizza, bruschetta, etc)
10. Store and/or freeze Sauce Lab #4 Roasted Tomato Jus and use for anything
11. Store and/or freeze tomato/rosemary roasted garlic (great for pizza topping or adding subtle garlic flavor without the bite)
12. Get Sauced?

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Charred Green Bean and Zucchini Soup

Blender/Food Processor

1 whole zucchini (cut in half and seeded, skin on)

2 tbsp oil of choice (I like tunisian harrisma spice oil, but I’m weird!)

1 lb of fresh green beans (ends cut off)

2 cups Sauce Lab #4 Roasted Tomato Jus

1 cup chicken stock

4 roasted garlic cloves (can use tomato-rosemary roasted garlic in Sauce Lab #4)

1/2 cup fresh lemon basil (reserve some for garnish)

1/2 cup chives (reserve some for garnish)

S/P TT

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees
2. Cover sheet tray with aluminum foil and oil thoroughly
3. Place zuchinni and beans on sheet tray and roast until soft and the green beans have a slight char on them (about 45 minutes)
4. While roasting veggies, add chix stock and tomato to large saucepan and bring to a simmer
5. Add charred and roasted veggies and garlic, let simmer until green beans are soft
6. Batch and lightly blend in processor or blender (you want it to be chunky!)
7. In final batch blend in the fresh herbs
8. Place back in large saucepan, thoroughly mix and serve with reserved herb garnish
9. Salt/Pepper (or whatever) to taste

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My colleagues, friends and family have always taken my restaurant critiques very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that they want me to actually write down my system.  It’s simple, fun and saucy. Here goes…

——————————————————

My rating system is a 10 point scale

4 possible points for “Get Sauced”

Get Sauced is a ranking of the establishment’s beer, wine and cocktail list in creativity and fun.  I do not discriminate in my reviews and will review fancy, poshy, snooty and gourment places with the same vigor as I review Mom and Pop pizza stands or dive bars.  Therefore, I would never mark down a pizza place for not having a diverse regional wine selction, but I might see if they have some fun microbrews.

4 possible points for “The Sauce”

The Sauce ONLY GRADES THE SAUCE! I like sauce and find that usually as the sauce goes, so does the restaurant.  Can I say sauce again? SAUCE!

2 playful points for “Ambience and Service”

Welcome to the Sauced Chef Slider Rule.  If service is ok, nothing special, nothing bad I award a big fat ZERO. If service is fricking amazing and the server is knowledgeable PLUS ONE.  If the server is annoying, or annoyed with me or just plain sucks MINUS ONE. The same goes for ambience.

Overall summation in “The Reduction”

What a clever name! Whoever thought of this is probably a genius.  Anyway, you get my final breakdown and rating here.  I also add any tidbits that are floating around in my brain sauce.  Keep a lookout for my first review. 

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